I went missing, but I didn't know

passenger train was almost empty that day. Yet Ejo stood at the door, holding on to the silver vertical support bar exterior to the bogey. The sun was setting in the horizon. He took a picture of this view, showing his left hand on the support bar, the train tracks and the setting sun which was more like yellow light, and uploaded it as his WhatsApp status with the caption, Asthamayam, ‘The sunset’ . He was returning to the hostel alone after attending the marriage function of a childhood friend. He had known her for almost 12 years. However, he hadn’t thought that she would get married so soon. But she seemed happy.

The train picked up speed and he had to tighten his grip on the sport bar. Ejo couldn’t help wondering how it would feel if he fell. In a low voice he began humming,

Azhaliinte aazhangalil aval maanju poyi novinte theerangalil njan matramayi.

‘She vanished in the depth of sorrow, leaving me alone on the shore of pain.’

The waiter had just served Ishaan his favorite porotta and beef fry when his phone rang. It was Pavi. Ishaan flipped his phone and the ring went silent. He had found this to be a convenient feature, the ringing would stop without actually answering or refusing. After all, porotta took precedence. The call rang its full length and went dead. However, within five seconds it rang again. Pavi again. That was odd. Normally he would have left a message on WhatsApp. Ishaan reckoned it must be something pressing.

“You better have some damn good reason for interrupting me”, blurted out Ishaan.

“When did you last hear from Ejo?”

“What?”

“When did you last hear from Ejo?” Pavi repeated.

“I heard it the first time. Why are you asking this?” Ishaan tore a piece of porotta rolled it over a piece of beef and licked it off his hands.

“Because I need to know dickhead” Pavi was furious. He seldom got furious, unless he was extremely frustrated.

“I teased him when he put up his status. That was around five thirty. He said he was on his way back. What happened?”

“He is not back yet and his phone is switched off.”

“That’s what you are so worried about? The train is probably running late. His phone is probably out of charge.”

“Just asking around bro. Baani fed me a load of crap. She was worried. It’s probably nothing.”

“Chill bro. He’ll turn up.”

“Apparently Ejo is missing”, Ishaan announced to his anxiously waiting friends. They all laughed at it. Not because they didn’t care for Ejo. They thought it was a silly thing to worry about. But for some strange reason, somewhere in the deepest corners of his mind, Ishaan felt an alarm turn on. Did something happen?

Pavi was on his 2nd peg of JD when his phone buzzed. He and his squad were enjoying one of their ‘drinking nights’. He wasn’t sure if he should answer it. After the fiasco on New Year’s Eve when he drunk dialed a girl, he had decided it would be best not talk to girls while drinking. But it was Baani and besides he was only on his 2nd peg. He finished his peg and motioned Mahesh to pour another one for him and moved away.

Mahesh poured another one for Pavi into the disposable plastic cup. But it was after another ten minutes that Pavi returned.

“Who was it?” Asked Mahesh with a cheeky smile.

“Oh, come on it was just Baani.”

“And?”

“Ejo isn’t back yet. She is worried”, Pavi summarized his ten minute talk into 2 sentences.

“Oh please. Have your drink man. He will be here before the ice cubes fall into your fourth peg.” Mahesh made up his own version of the Mohanlal dialogue from Aaramthampuran.

“Wait, we had ice cubes? I didn’t get any.” A drunk Vishal suddenly let out.

Both Mahesh and Pavi let out jolly laughs.

He stood there at the door of the skedaddling train unable to comprehend the reality that she had left him. He had dreamed an eternity with her. Of all the people in the world she was only one who saw the real him. His sunshine in the rain of sorrows. But that sunshine was gone now leaving him to drown. She was the sun to his earth and earth cannot exist without the sun. There was no point in living anymore.

Baani was sitting on the kitchen slab gossiping with her mother while eating banana chips, when Shameer called asking if Ejo had contacted her. Ejo had called her half way through his return journey while she was still at college. She was flabbergasted when Shameer told her that he was not back yet. It had been two hours since she had been home. He should have been back by now. That’s when his status flashed in her mind. She had felt something wrong when she saw it. Now it was creeping her out.

She tried his phone though Shameer had already told her that it was switched off. She had to try, for her sake. Still switched off. She was getting irritated. She felt like smashing the phone.

Seeing her exasperation, her mother asked, “What happened my dear?”

“Amma, Ejo is not back yet and his phone is switched off”, Baani went on to tell her all the details including his creepy status. After hearing all of it, her mother jokingly remarked, “did he fall off?’

Baani’s mother may have meant it like a joke but it struck her like a lightning bolt. She pictured it for a second. What if it had happened? She couldn’t stand the thought. Tears filled her eyes. She dialed Pavi. If it wasn’t for her mid-call breakdown, Pavi may not have taken it so seriously. Panic is so infectious. And that’s how it all started. Pavi called Ishaan. Ishaan called Arathi, Arathi called Rimi, Rimi called Naman and the list goes on. Putting it in a nutshell, everyone called everyone but no one knew anything, just like Jon Snow.

Two more hours passed. The entire bottle of JD was over but there was no news of Ejo. The railway website said that the passenger train Ejo was on, had arrived and left on time.

Where is he? Did something really happen to him? These questions lingered in the air unanswered. They were on the verge of forming a search party when, one among the ignorant few, who was not aware of the commotion forwarded a news clipping from a local online newspaper to the class group.

Body found near railway track near college junction, suicide suspected.

The article did not have any useful details. It had only happened three hours ago. Most of it was speculation. But it wasn’t just a misleading title meant to attract visitors in desperate attempt to make money from ad revenue. It had enough materials to set off volcanoes in everyone’s mind. The time the body was found, the age group, gender. Ishaan felt like one of his nightmares had come true. Baani almost fainted. Pavi felt an urge to be sober.

Ishaan considered calling Ejo’s home as he waited for Shameer to arrive, but after careful deliberation, decided against it. Ejo was the first friend he made when he came to college. His first impression was that he was an idiot. But later Ishaan realized the saying ‘First impression is the best impression’ is not always true. Ejo was the embodiment of ‘Don’t judge a book by its cover’.

Shameer arrived along with Pavi, Vishal and Mahesh. Mahesh got off Shameer’s bike and got on the other one with Pavi and Vishal. Just then Pavi’s phone rang. He froze for a moment. It was Ejo’s mother.

“What do I tell her?”, Pavi asked while the phone was still ringing.

“Tell her he is with us”, Vishal suggested.

“No, then she will want to talk to him”, said Ishaan.

“Don’t take the phone then”, Mahesh opinioned.

“No, no. She is probably worried sick.”

Saying so Pavi answered the call.

“Hello, Aunty”

“Hi Pavi, Is Ejo with you?”

”He is at the college, aunty.”

“This late?”

“There is a program tomorrow. He is taking care of the preparations.”

“His phone is switched off.”

“It’s probably out of charge, aunty.”

“Can you ask someone to tell him to call me?”

“Sure, aunty.”

“Okay, then.”

“Bye aunty”, Pavi hung up. “Oh, God” He buried his face in his hand.

No one spoke a word, only the sound of the engine revving. It was unusually cold. They turned left onto the main road. The car that went in the opposite direction blinked at them. Shameer pulled over. Followed by Pavi, who was a little behind.

“Police ahead. We’ll have to find another way”, said Shameer.

Neither of them had a helmet and Pavi was drunk.

“Follow me”, Pavi said already turning his bike. “There is a pocket road by the side of the badminton club.”

Though the club had a big fancy name, it wasn’t high profile. The members were mostly retired people and college students.

They were passing its entrance when Ishaan, by sheer chance, spotted it. He was filled with so much rage.

“Are you kidding me?”, Ishaan yelled. “Stop.”

As Shameer stopped the biked, Ishaan jumped out and ran inside. He made a fist and smacked hard the guy at the far end of the court.

Ejo was going to serve for match point, when he saw Ishaan running towards him. In an unexpected move Ishaan landed a punch on Ejo's face, which threw him off balance and he fell on the ground. “What the hell is this for?”, Ejo screamed.

“We were going to the mortuary to identify your dead body, you idiot”, yelled Ishaan. Ejo who had been playing badminton all this while, oblivious to the commotions of that night, gaped in awe.

Half an hour later, his status read: I went missing, but I didn’t know.